It never feels good to be cheated on. It’s never not going to hurt when someone who you love and trust breaks the vows that he promised you on your wedding day. It feels like your heart shatters, and all you want to do is run. Maybe that isn’t even a bad choice. Most marriages fall apart after the uncovering of an affair. You wouldn’t be the first person to do it, and you certainly won’t be the last. But as you see him beg for your forgiveness, you feel a touch of sympathy. You feel the urge to give him a second chance, even though you know you probably shouldn’t. You still love him but he’s hurt you too much to be able to just get away scot-free. So, you decide to take him back, but on one condition. He has to be punished. “How?” you ask. By wearing a chastity belt!
Before deciding to recommit to a marriage that might already be broken, consider if it’s still worth your time. Maybe your husband can’t be changed anymore and he’ll always be the cheating bastard that he is now. In that case, you’re probably better off cutting your losses instead of rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic; it’s going down regardless, and not in the way you’ll be hoping for.
Be aware that you’re likely not thinking objectively, as your love for him and sunken cost fallacy are likely influencing you to stay. If you ultimately decide that you want to stay, then understand that even if you try your hardest there is no guarantee that he’ll change his ways. That simply isn’t how people work. Always be aware that you could be, and probably are, making a huge mistake.
How does it work? Negative reinforcement
The human mind has a huge capacity to learn from past mistakes. When I burn myself on the stove, I know not to touch the stove anymore, because it’s hot. When I fell on my bicycle, I learned not to go too fast to avoid crashing. My point being, that as humans, pain provides us with a memory of what not to do. This is called negative reinforcement.
Discouraging behaviour through punishment is nothing new. It’s been used to train animals such as dogs for centuries and if your husband has acted like a dog and cheated on you, then he deserves to be taught a lesson like a dog by having the most prized part of his anatomy shackled and chained. After all, when a dog can’t behave he is put on a leash.
The main way that the chastity belt will help you teach your husband a lesson is through the emotions that it’ll make him feel. While material wealth and promise for reward are nice, our emotions are what truly motivates us in the end. While wearing the chastity belt, your husband will feel all kinds of emotions that will hopefully motivate him to try and be a better person, and avoid infidelity in the future.
Emotion #1: Shame
The first emotion that your husband will feel is shame. He’ll feel ashamed of himself for having cheated on you. He’ll feel ashamed that he even considered cheating on you. And the metal harness around his manhood isn’t going to let him forget it. He feels its weight when he moves. The metal makes contact with his skin occasionally, feeling cool to the touch. Everywhere he goes, he feels trapped. He can’t take it off, not even to scratch. Even his sex drive is punishing him, as every urge and impulse becomes a reminder of his infidelity further adding to the sense of self-loathing. And the inability to have sex leaves plenty of time to think about any regrets that one may have, further adding salt to the wound.
Emotion #2: Discomfort
It isn’t easy to walk around in metal underpants. I imagine after a few hours of use, they start to become extremely uncomfortable to wear. While their design does allow for the wearer to urinate, it can hardly be said to be comfortable. As the discomfort grows, they are once again reminded of the unforgivable act that they have committed. With every itch they cannot scratch, every patch of skin raw from chafing and every cramp and sprain they bear the consequences of their selfishness and their short-sightedness. Eventually, due to certain health concerns, you’ll have to let him take it off to bathe and clean himself, but feel free to take your time and drive the lesson home before you do.
Are all chastity belts uncomfortable to wear? I asked an expert, and she told me that, based on her experience of locking men in chastity, they aren’t.
“If you buy a cheap and crappy belt there’s every chance it will be a nightmare to wear. Honestly, you’d be well within your right to make sure that’s the case if he’s cheated on you, but if you want him to wear it until he’s gained back some of your trust then that could take a while. The last thing you need is a pissed off husband who quickly loses patience with the whole ordeal, so do your research and buy one that actually fits.”
That’s from chastity queen Mistress K at House of Denial, the male chastity experts. They’ve sold chastity cages, not belts, for several years and she has some more advice for you.
“Chastity belts can be really secure, but they can also be really expensive if you buy a custom fitted one. Cages are cheaper and can offer just as much security, so if you don’t want to blow the value of a small car on a device then I do recommend looking for a well sized and fitted chastity cage instead.”
Emotion #3: Sexual repression
The chastity belt lives up to its name. While wearing it, you are completely blocked from having any kind of sexual intercourse. By forcing your husband to wear one, you are subtly hinting that if he can’t control his urges, then you’ll do it for him. As a tool meant to help people abstain from sex and remain celibate, the chastity belt is going to undoubtedly cause your husband some sexual frustration, as he has no means to relieve himself of his urges. This is a good thing, as it can help him cultivate self-control and discipline to avoid cheating again in the future, not that you should tolerate any two-timing behaviour after this.
My final thoughts, and a warning
While many marriages end because of infidelity, that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. In this scenario, a husband willing to make amends and suffer a bit of punishment to atone for his infidelity can slowly but surely earn back the trust and respect of his wife.
While they aren’t exactly common, such cases have happened before, and many couples say that their relationship grew stronger after the wounds from the infidelity had healed. With that being said, leaving someone for cheating on you is justified, and you should only consider giving a disloyal partner a second chance if he is genuinely remorseful. Your trust should not be easy to buy and losing it should not come with a warranty.